Showing posts from January, 2019

Defining Me

I have spent a large portion of my life being told how I feel, what I am thinking, and who I am. This began when I was very young, and has been perpetuated by many other relationships throughout my life. It took me a long time to realize that this was happening, and that in most cases I didn't actually think or feel the way others said. The saying goes, 'once you see the pattern, it cannot be unseen.' I can affirm this. I see it in so many of my interactions with people I have known my entire life. In fact, it happened recently. Someone that cares for me greatly told me that I was not happy. At first I just absorbed it, clearly they know better than me. And then it hit me, no the fuck they don't. They are not actually very present in my life. I call them to check in and say hello, and sometimes I share the hard stuff...but mostly I don't anymore. Because then I hear how they think I feel or am doing. I am learning that often when others are unhappy, they project t