From Sobriety to Grief...It's been a long few months

I tend to take long hiatuses in writing. I don't know if it is due to the excessive demands of every day life, or if it is the fear of being as authentic as I want to be. Whatever the reason, I am back for the moment.

I have a lot I want to share, and I will get there. For instance, today I am 72 days sober from alcohol. This was a health choice that turned into a HARD lesson on addiction...a subject I know far more about than I should have needed to see it within myself.  A struggle I have encountered before but seemingly ignored due to fear of stigma. I am not afraid anymore. And to prove it I am going to cry and sing in a video dedicated to my big baby pup, Rambo, who we said goodbye to yesterday.

This is a raw message. It wasn't intended to be shared publicly. I have intense fear of singing in public. Yet as I find my voice, as I learn to say what needs to be said, I am also learning that fear only holds as much power as I allow it to. My sweet Rambo wasn't afraid of anything. He was loving, loyal, and never cared how big he got - he was always our lap baby. I may be afraid still, but I won't let it silence me anymore. I have no aspirations of being a vocalist, this is just me jumping off the cliff and trusting I will find my wings on the way down.

Cry with me, laugh with me, sing with me, and join me as I find my words again. One day at a time.


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