Wednesday, November 9, 2016

I will cry, and that's ok

I don't want to write today. Or think. I want to cry and kick and scream. I want to beg people that I know and love...why? 

I could write so many things. But instead I will write to my children. My strong and funny daughter, my bright and active son. I met your father 11 years ago on Halloween. On October 31, 2016 I cast my vote with him in Athens, GA. I voted for the first woman presidential candidate. 
Things did not go as planned. 
I falsely believed my vote mattered. It did not. 
Not in this red state. 
That doesn't matter, always vote.
This is not the place to educate you on the electoral college, which I will be actively attempting to protest against in the future, but in time...I will educate you. 
You see, I was not educated about that or many other things. 
My history was white-washed. Gender-washed. Christian-washed. 
Sure, honey, you can be anything you want when you grow up...but they forgot to tell me that I would still be just a 'girl.' Even with a PhD, I am not equal to man.

I don't believe that shit anymore. I am not JUST anything. No one is. 
But we are ALL human.
We should ALL be equal.

I won't tear down your heroes, we must all learn the truth of them in our own time. 
Heroes are also only human, and often flawed mightily. It is sad to see them as such. 
You are best admiring without placing on a pedestal, then they don't fall and your heart doesn't break as badly. 

Take the high road. Michelle Obama said "They go low, we go high." Never forget those words. Love. Always respond with love. 
You may be called names. You may see or experience violence. 
Go high.

Your father and I will protect you both as long as we can. We will teach you to be safe. 
To be strong. To thrive. We will always believe in you. Love you. Support you. 
You will always have a safe haven with us. A place to rest, to cry, to laugh, to learn.
Always.

I promise you from this day forward, November 9, 2016...I will never stop growing and learning. Striving to be a better person, woman, friend, mother, spouse, daughter, sister, aunt. I will cry. I will get angry at times, and frustrated. 
This is not an overreaction or womanly response. 
It is the HUMAN response. And it is ok. 
But in the end, we must pick ourselves off, shake off the hate, and stand strong. 
Together.

Here is my hand, my children. Hold it for as long as you need.

I love you both so much.
~your mama, one helluva #nastywoman