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Showing posts from 2021

One Day

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One day I hope to be seen for the imperfect, yet trying her damnedest, human being that I am. Instead of the absurd expectations I will never be able to achieve. One day I hope that the best defense isn’t seen as a reconciliation tool. Instead of the trauma wound misstep that it is. One day I hope to be heard for the words I am saying. Instead of the intentioned stories that play in your head. ~ ~ ~ It’s been a year since this all began. This perpetual isolation. The lockdown. The distancing. The homeschooling and virtual, unpaid, teacher’s aid. The unemployed. The 24/7 household management, education management, business owning hellscape that has become my day to day. And amidst all of this I am supposed to remember my newly minted tools to work through my sh*t, all while never showing weakness in the form of anxiety, frustration, anger, etc. Stay calm. Hold it all together. Know when to ask for help, but not too much. Be the objective teacher, as if your child can forget you are thei

Forking A - Let's take a Breath 2021

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2021 Week 1: Hear about a Covid19 death of someone I know, receive news that we have a new nephew and another on the way. Meet with business landlord to negotiate out of 5 year lease, and how to sell/leave the carefully selected items of our business to pay back rent owed. Learn that our county will not be returning to in-person school for the foreseeable future. Release newsletter to list about permanently closing our 1 year old brick and mortar. Insurrection at the US Capitol.  Excuse me while I have a moment or 5. I've made minimal posts so far this year on my social media networks, and not nearly enough progress on completing my JRNI Life Coaching certification requirements. Hey, but we are alive and fed. That's going to be the big win for this month, I can assure you. And not without the aid of friends and family and community resources. FUCK THIS. Amidst all of this I finally came to the conclusion post-holidays that I was slipping. My recovery from co-dependency has gott