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Showing posts from July, 2015

Therapist "Dating" 101

Finding a new therapist always makes me think of speed dating.  Probably because it is typically within a matter of minutes that I have determined the destiny of our relationship.  No, I am not overly sensitive or judgmental, I simply know the type of personalities I am going to mesh with in therapy (and life, for that matter).  More importantly, if I start to feel more educated than them, it's terminal.
Therapist/client relationships are essential for results.  And in my span of therapists, since I start up therapy again every few years, I have only had two great ones so far.  Just two.   One male and one female.  Each of those relationships were concluded when I moved away.   Both evolved over the course of my sessions, both provided immense beneficial results.   One was a PhD, one was not (I am not an education elitist ALL the time). Both set some pretty high standards for future therapists. 
My latest venture into therapy I ended up in this guy's office by default, lite…

What is failure?

You know when you start off with a question like 'What is failure?' you are headed for murky waters.  I met with my new therapist this week, and all the 'getting to know you' questions stirred up a lot of shit for me.  As they always do.  This has been on my mind for a minute.  The truth behind what it feels like to leave my job, despite the poor fit that it and the location was for both me and my family.  It's not pretty, and as I begin sifting through my past to further understand my journey to here I am left with this overwhelming sensation of déjà vu.

You think I am so brave, I walked away with my head held high.  I am bold.  I am a rebel, turning my back on academia to pursue my passions.
You have no idea.
I am nothing.
This façade is for me, a theatrical attempt to not drown in the depths of my failure.  I failed not only myself but my family.  I dragged them to a place we could not thrive.  So much change, so little opportunity.  Lovely people, a phenomenal …